1. We are involved in assisting people in the most difficult event in their lives; divorce, along with the death of a loved parent or child, is among the most painful event of a human being's life;
2. That divorce lasts longer than any other painful human event;
3. That divorce is extraordinarily chaotic;
4. That human beings, no matter how effective in their jobs, or other aspects of their lives, generally operate in a state of confusion during a divorce;
5. That guidelines, checklists, self-discipline and coaching are an essential contribution to a divorcing person's life;
6. That individuals going through a divorce usually do not acknowledge the seriousness of the event, or the long-term effect of a divorce;
7. That most divorcing parties have an inability to separate from the person they had been married to;
8. That the confusing matrix of shared events, past sexual intimacy, child birthing,child rearing, goal setting, long-term planning, along with the very same person who is now lying, cheating, having selective memory, and attempting to gain an advantage over you is the heart of the problem in processing divorces accurately and expediently;
9. That individuals going through a divorce, no matter how honest in other areas of their life, generally tend to have selective memory, and recall past events in a manner most favorable to their side of the divorce litigation;
10. That prior loving in-laws become cold, aloof, distant, and work tirelessly to aid their child or relative;
11. That children, in the middle of their most important developmental periods, are severely damaged by the experience of their parents expressing anger, arguing, raising their voice, engaging in substance abuse, promiscuous behavior and sometimes violence, all of which have long term devastating effects on their development as human beings;
12. That the legal system is not designed to handle this problem;
13. That the legal system is the best device that currently exists to handle the problem;
14. That the soon-to-be-former spouse exhibits self-interests and selfishness instead of generosity and helpful behavior;
15. That most people going through divorce are in denial;
16. That most people going through divorce are in shock;
17. That most people going through divorce have extreme rage;
18. That most people going through divorce exhibit the egocentric tendencies of a 12 year old (that they are the only person in the world, and the world was designed to serve, benefit and please them);
19. That their spouse had identifiable psychotic tendencies;
20. That their spouse had psychological deficiencies;
21. That their spouse has bad parenting qualities;
22. That their future has been irreversibly and negatively altered;
23. That there is no longer time in the day to accomplish all the living tasks necessary for successful life management;
24. That there is almost always an anxiety producing shortage of money;
25. That the amount of spousal support received is too small to continue to live in the same style that was available before the divorce;
26. That the amount of child support paid is too small to adequately rear the child in the same manner they were accustomed to prior to the divorce;
27. That the amount of spousal support paid destroys the ability of the paying spouse to have an adequate life;
28. That the amount of non-deductible child support paid destroys the ability of the paying spouse to put aside for retirement, adequately repair the automobile, gain a living style adequate to compensate for the amount of work necessary and for the time spent earning that money;
29. That sometimes there has been violent physical abuse;
30. That sometimes there has been violent mental abuse;
31. That sometimes there has been child neglect;
32. Sometimes there has been child sexual abuse;
33. That what we do as lawyers does affect someone's entire future;
34. That we, as lawyers, are held to an extraordinarily high standard of conduct;
35. That we, as lawyers, are held to an extraordinarily high standard of mental competence;
36. That we, as lawyers, are held to an extraordinarily high standard of emotional stability;
37. That there are enormous consequences for our clients;
38. That many issues which are litigated are done so because of demands by the client, and that these issues are not core issues in the litigation;
39. That many issues which are litigated because of the client's demands are not outcome determinative issues;
40. That clients have absolutely no knowledge of the legal process;
41. That clients have absolutely no knowledge of divorce law or litigation;
42. That clients do not acknowledge their complete lack of understanding of the system;
43. That clients have almost no ability to analyze the configuration of law and fact patterns in divorce cases;
44. The clients make believe that they understand the divorce process;
45. That the most disastrous thing your client can say is "It is my divorce, we will do it my way.";
46. That the bulk of the practitioners in the field of divorce law are single practitioners and small firm practitioners;
47. That small errors are as costly as large errors;
48. That the litigation process is a zero tolerance process;
49. That the discovery process is a zero tolerance process;
50. That the total job of opposing counsel is to destroy your legal position;
51. That the total job of the opposing counsel is to obscure their legal position;
52. That the total job of the opposing counsel is to make you quit or settle the case;
53. That the judge is not a referee, and can only rule on evidence that is appropriately put in front of him;
54. That the divorce process is not fair, nor is it designed to be fair;
55. That many effects of divorce litigation are permanent and irreversible;
56. That there is a zero tolerance for even a one-minute lapse of attention in the litigation or trial of a case;
57. That the client must have iron discipline to succeed in a divorce; and
58. That the client must have 100% emotional control during the divorce lest their spouse take advantage of an emotional outburst to alter custody and support positions.
