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J. Michael Kelly
9 Family Law Divorce Lawyers. One of California's Oldest & Largest Divorce Firms.

2. Divorce lasts longer than any other painful human event;

3. Divorce is extraordinarily chaotic;

4. Human beings, no matter how effective in their jobs, or other aspects of their lives, generally operate in a state of confusion during a divorce;

5. Guidelines, checklists, self-discipline and coaching are all essential contributions to a divorcing person's life;

6. Individuals going through a divorce usually do not acknowledge the seriousness of the event, or the long-term effect of a divorce;

7. Most divorcing parties have an inability to separate from the person they had been married to;

8. The confusing matrix of shared events, past sexual intimacy, child birthing,child rearing, goal setting, long-term planning, along with the very same person who is now lying, cheating, having selective memory, and attempting to gain an advantage over you is the heart of the problem in processing divorces accurately and expediently;

9. Individuals going through a divorce, no matter how honest in other areas of their life, generally tend to have selective memory, and recall past events in a manner most favorable to their side of the divorce litigation;

10. Prior loving in-laws become cold, aloof, distant, and work tirelessly to aid their child or relative;

11. Children, in the middle of their most important developmental periods, are severely damaged by the experience of their parents expressing anger, arguing, raising their voice, engaging in substance abuse, promiscuous behavior and sometimes violence, all of which have long term devastating effects on their development as human beings;

12. The legal system is not designed to handle this problem;

13. The legal system is the best device that currently exists to handle the problem;

14. The soon-to-be-former spouse exhibits self-interests and selfishness instead of generosity and helpful behavior;

15. Most people going through divorce are in denial;

16. Most people going through divorce are in shock;

17. Most people going through divorce have extreme rage;

18. Most people going through divorce exhibit the egocentric tendencies of a 12 year old (that they are the only person in the world, and the world was designed to serve, benefit and please them);

19. Your spouse had identifiable psychotic tendencies;

20. Your spouse had psychological deficiencies;

21. Your spouse has bad parenting qualities;

22. Your future has been irreversibly and negatively altered;

23. There is no longer time in the day to accomplish all the living tasks necessary for successful life management;

24. That there is almost always an anxiety producing shortage of money;

25. The amount of spousal support received is too small to continue to live in the same style that was available before the divorce;

26. The amount of child support paid is too small to adequately rear the child in the same manner they were accustomed to prior to the divorce;

27. The amount of spousal support paid destroys the ability of the paying spouse to have an adequate life;

28. The amount of non-deductible child support paid destroys the ability of the paying spouse to put aside for retirement, adequately repair the automobile, gain a living style adequate to compensate for the amount of work necessary and for the time spent earning that money;

29. Sometimes there has been violent physical abuse;

30. Sometimes there has been violent mental abuse;

31. Sometimes there has been child neglect;

32. Sometimes there has been child sexual abuse;

33. What we do as lawyers does affect someone's entire future;

34. We, as lawyers, are held to an extraordinarily high standard of conduct;

35. We, as lawyers, are held to an extraordinarily high standard of mental competence;

36. We, as lawyers, are held to an extraordinarily high standard of emotional stability;

37. There are enormous consequences for our clients;

38. Many issues which are litigated are done so because of demands by the client, and that these issues are not core issues in the litigation;

39. Many issues which are litigated because of the client's demands are not outcome determinative issues;

40. Clients have absolutely no knowledge of the legal process;

41. Clients have absolutely no knowledge of divorce law or litigation;

42. Clients do not acknowledge their complete lack of understanding of the system;

43. Clients have almost no ability to analyze the configuration of law and fact patterns in divorce cases;

44. Clients make believe that they understand the divorce process;

45. The most disastrous thing your client can say is "It is my divorce, we will do it my way.";

46. The bulk of the practitioners in the field of divorce law are single practitioners and small firm practitioners;

47. Small errors are as costly as large errors;

48. The litigation process is a zero tolerance process;

49. The discovery process is a zero tolerance process;

50. The total job of opposing counsel is to destroy your legal position;

51. The total job of the opposing counsel is to obscure their legal position;

52. The total job of the opposing counsel is to make you quit or settle the case;

53. The judge is not a referee, and can only rule on evidence that is appropriately put in front of him;

54. The divorce process is not fair, nor is it designed to be fair;

55. Many effects of divorce litigation are permanent and irreversible;

56. There is a zero tolerance for even a one-minute lapse of attention in the litigation or trial of a case;

57. The client must have iron discipline to succeed in a divorce; and

58. The client must have 100% emotional control during the divorce lest their spouse take advantage of an emotional outburst to alter custody and support positions.

59. The out come is uncertain until the divorce judgment is signed and filed.

60. The size of the firm and the expertise of it's lawyers and the organization of the delivery of it's services for forty years makes a massive diference in the outcome of your divorce.

J. MICHAEL KELLY, CALIFORNIA FAMILY LAW:

Thank you for your trust,
J. Michael Kelly, Esq
Chairman & Founder

California Family Law Institute (MAP TO OFFICE)
429 Santa Monica Blvd., Suite 120
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 393-0236 Fax (310) 393-4221
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