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Family Law Specialists*

Steve Fernandez and Mark Karney are Certified Family Law Specialists* 

In the beginning, marriages are happy and full of hope. However, as time goes on, you or your partner may begin to question the relationship. You may be contemplating separation or you may even already be living independently.

If you are day-dreaming about life without your partner, it may be time to get a divorce. How do you know when it is time to give up on the relationship? What are other signs that let you know when it’s time to divorce?

1) Communication Issues

It is no surprise that one of the leading causes of divorce is communication issues. More specifically, a lack of communication can lead to separation and divorce. A couple needs to work as a team. They need to be able to come to each other for support and understanding. They also need to be able to talk about both the little and big things in life.

There should be room for arguments that don’t focus on who is right and who is wrong. If you and your spouse constantly feel at-odds and can no longer have conversations about things that matter, it may be a sign that it is time for a divorce.

2) Lack of Intimacy

What is another major sign that it’s time for a divorce? A lack of intimacy in a marriage can be a bad sign. Intimacy is an important part of marriage. It is the main difference between friendship and a romantic relationship.

There may be lulls or times when you need space, but if you can’t remember the last time you were intimate with your partner, this could be a red flag that the relationship is in trouble.

3) There is no Trust

Through life, your spouse is supposed to be one of the main people that you can trust completely. It is impossible to feel comfortable in any marriage if there is no trust. Many things can lead to a lack of trust including infidelity, lying, and disrespectful behavior. It is not a good sign if you constantly second-guess your partner or have trouble believing the things that they tell you.

4) There is Contempt

Contempt is a major marriage killer. It can range from resenting your partner to full-on despising them. Your mood may change from positive to negative when they walk in a room. They may criticize your every action or stop treating you like an equal. Whatever the reasons for the contempt, no marriage can last if these feelings of bitterness and anger are not addressed.

5) Cheating

If you or your spouse cheats on the other – it may be time for a divorce. Cheating can be both physical and emotional. In the age of technology, there are many more ways to cheat on a partner by using phones and the internet.

While some couples recover after infidelity, many do not. If your spouse has cheated on you it may be time to seek counsel and discuss your divorce and separation options.

6) Loss of Yourself

Some relationships can be consuming. At first, it is intoxicating to be with your partner. However, as time goes on, you may start to feel like you have lost yourself. You no longer have hobbies that you enjoy or you no longer make any time for yourself.

Maybe you feel like you are only staying with your partner for your children. In every relationship, you need to be able to still be “you”. The loss of self can lead to relationship problems and even divorce.

7) Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship is one where the dynamic has changed and it is full of negative energy. Where you were once happy, now all you feel is dread or contempt. Some toxic relationships can even turn mentally, emotionally, or physically abusive. While toxic relationships might be worked on in marriage counseling, any type of abuse is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

8) You Don’t Care

The marriage may be over and it may be time for divorce if you no longer care about the relationship. It means that you have already given up. This can happen after trying therapy and other actions to work on the marriage.

However, it can also happen without any effort to save the relationship. You may be dreaming of a different life that does not include your spouse. If you no longer care about your relationship and you have already given up, it is a sign that it may be time for a divorce.