Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. If you’ve separated from your spouse or are going through a divorce you may be dreading the Hallmark holiday. At Fernandez & Karney, our divorce attorneys know that the holiday can add to the stress you are under. We’ve compiled a list of suggestions to help you get through this difficult time. Taking control of the day and making positive decisions will help you survive Valentine’s Day during a divorce.

Make a Schedule and Stick to It

If you sit around on Valentine’s Day and dwell on your newly-single life or think about what your ex is up to, you’re bound to have a difficult day. You can minimize your downtime by committing to staying busy. The best way to do this is to schedule out your day from start to finish. Think about things you’d like to do and people you’d like to spend time with. Make plans and stick to them.

Do Something For Yourself

A marriage can be hard work. As your marriage declined you may have spent most of your time and energy worrying about your relationship and/or your spouse. This probably means that you didn’t focus on your own health and happiness. Use Valentine’s Day to treat yourself to something nice. Splurge on an item you’ve been eyeing for a while. Buy yourself a visit to the spa. Treat yourself to a nice meal that you wouldn’t ordinarily get. Pampering yourself can be a great way to kick off a time where you focus on yourself instead of others.


Whether you’re in the gym religiously six days a week or only work out a few times a year, it is important to stay active on Valentine’s Day. Exercise is one of the best treatments for sadness, depression, anxiety, and grief. As you move around you will feel that your mind drifts from negative feelings and you become more confident. The type of exercise you engage in does not matter. Whether you try a new CrossFit club, go for a long bike ride or walk, or relax during yoga, all that matters is that you stay active. The more you move, the better you will feel.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

Spending time alone can be nice, but it can also be an easy way for you to sink into negative emotions. Valentine’s Day isn’t just about love between romantic partners. Valentine’s Day celebrates love between all people. Take some time on Valentine’s Day to spend time with the people you care about most. Take your kids out for a fun adventure. Meet up with friends for cocktails and dinner. Spend time with family members you don’t get to see a lot. No matter what you do, celebrate the love that you have in your life.

Help Others

Valentine’s Day can be difficult for many people, for a variety of reasons. Commit some of your day to helping others. Try volunteering at a local animal shelter or soup kitchen. Offer to help your local church or community center with projects they’re working on. Donating your time for the benefit of others can help to generate positive feelings and contribute to others who may also be struggling.

Take a Social Media Hiatus

Social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat can be a great way to keep in touch with friends and family. On Valentine’s Day, these platforms will probably be overwhelmed with photos and stories of love. This may not be what you need to see right now. You may even be tempted to check up on your ex. You can avoid the negative impact of social media by taking a break for the day. Or, better yet, take a social media hiatus for the entire month.

Getting a divorce can be an incredibly overwhelming and stressful process. When Valentine’s Day falls in the middle of your divorce things can become even harder. Keep these suggestions in mind as you prepare for the holiday. If you have any questions about your divorce call the Los Angeles family law attorneys at Fernandez & Karney. We will review your case and answer any questions you have.